Settling In and Slowing Down

The last few weeks at work have been an adjustment for me.  I am coming from a job and culture that values getting things done quickly and efficiently - and this is something I can do well.  But I have found that with moving quickly to achieve, I also have felt more pressure and stress at work and in my life.  Being me - I have fought these tendencies while living in Baltimore but was never able to truly escape the stress that seeped in from the fast pace of my life and work.

With this background I entered my job here.  When I started I was given an idea of what they would like and I jumped in full force.  I started researching different citizenship programs, what a successful program needs, things we would want to plan for in the future, etc.  In the first two weeks I had gathered a binder full of resources, written a proposal for the board and begun implementing the structure needed to start our new program.  Now, I realize to most of you reading this you might think - great job!  Way to get things done! However, I have started to realize that this might not have been the best way to attempt change here and that by slowing down I am able to better serve this community.

The past two weeks I have been learning how to slow down at work.  I did all of my work in the first two weeks so the past two weeks I have been waiting - waiting for students - waiting for textbooks to come -waiting for people to collaborate with.  At first I felt a sense of disappointment and boredom - what do I do now?  How can I be successful if I don't have anything to do?  Why aren't people getting back to me right now?  I need to get classes up and running, etc.  But my co-workers have taught me some lessons these two weeks.  The most important thing has been that in the work we are doing relationships and building trust are more important than just "doing."  While "waiting" I have spent entire afternoons drinking coffee and talking with my co-workers.  Getting to know them.  Learning about their families, their lives, and their stories.  I have been able to learn more about CDC and how I fit into their long term goals.  I believe this attitude towards work also reflects a different set of values.  It is evident to me that because I have spent so much time with my co-workers just talking they have been able to open up more to me.  I have shown that I value them, as people, and their opinions.  That they are worth my time and are just as important as the work we are doing.  The atmosphere at work and ability to collaborate has changed immensely.  By building my relationships with my co-workers I am also building an understanding of the people we serve and accompany at work.  With this time, I have begun to earn their trust and because I am the only gringa it becomes even more important for me to do this.  The history I carry with me, and the experiences my co-workers and clients have lived through, is one that needs time to overcome if we are going to be able to move forward in our work together.

This being said this does not mean that we do not do work and that my co-workers do not value getting things done.  We work hard, but without the stress or pressure of worrying about our self-worth.  In our relationships we can validate our self-worth and thus create what I believe is a healthy balance between work and relationships.